jewish is not a race. Islam teaches that religion is God's Word and science is God's Works. Is he asking (meaning you can say no and life goes on and you get married) or expecting you to do it? But as you can see, there is much to consider. Although, I am threatening to wrap his gifts in red and green next year and then decorate his socks. As a practicing Muslim who's made the conscious choice to follow Islam, I figured I'd been down a road Adam was looking to begin traveling. To Sara and Kathryn:Hahahaha! My boyfriend wants to convert to Islam, should I stay or leave? let's be lesbians! You must go through training, learn Hebrew and Torah. "However, in order for our kids to be Jewish I must be Jewish."Wrong. You might not like it,but there it is. We would raise them to know both sides. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! So they should hearken to Me and believe in Me, that they may follow the right way.'". And how do they feel about it? The best thing to do would ask Allah (swt) to guide your heart in the right direction. If you convert, you're saying that you believe all of that stuff. I am part of a family full of Jewish converts from totally orthodox to very reform. Aside from the two main branches of Sunni and Shia Muslims most commonly known, within each branch many variations exist. According to Pew Research, "Two-thirds (67 percent) of all converts to Islam in the U.S. came from Protestant churches, 10 percent came from Catholicism, and just five percent from other religions. The duty towards humanity includes giving charity regularly, paying the Zakaat when applicable, and living a life dedicated to the service of all humanity -- Muslim or non-Muslim, believer or non-believer. There is real commitment here so a conversation is in order. It would definitely be some time. just be who you are, love each other, raise your kids with love and honesty...good luck. Be active, be sincere, be consistent, even incessant in your prayers to God. It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. So I was even more thrilled that Adam was undertaking this crucial scrutiny, and that his investigations were bearing fruit. I've impressed this upon Adam and encouraged him to visit Sunni and Shia mosques, to speak with various Imams, and to engage with each mosque's membership. It sounds like you would need to have a discussion with him about his thoughts and desires and with what you are comfortable with. Converting to a religion you don't believe in is no worse than faking an orgasm.Go for it, and remember, it''s just an elaborate fairly tale, nothing wrong with not being a believer... Everyone brings up some very good points that I have definitely considered. Does he?So much of this sounds like it comes down to the parents, as you have highlighted they would all like for you two to marry "your own kind " so to speak but I think that you should follow your heart and set an example for the children you will one day have to do the same. I don't think I would have anyway. Judaism, like every other religion, needs to change with the times in order to remain relevant. Time went on. But in general, I notice that even the non religious usually believe in a higher being, anyway. Even though I'm not a Catholic, I am still proud of my upbringing and I'm glad my parents pulled me out of public school. Im not particularly religious at all so does it matter? I could never convert. There are fewer and fewer people in the world who are 100% Jewish. He used to be Catholic, but isn't into it or any organized religion for that matter. If not, then it's not for you. This is a multicultural world, and if you have kids they will be multicultural kids. I had a really serious boyfriend for whom I considered converting to Judaism. As Muslims we are advised to recite this book daily. Reform synagogues have more and more interfaith families. This was a reality for Adam, and is for … Get comfortable with the Qur'an, understand it to the best of your ability, and if possible finish it at least once in a language you understand before accepting Islam. Nope, no Christmas. 4. At the same time, one should recognize that people can be a means of doing just that. I was happy because I thought I can then also marry my boyfriend and we can learn about Islam together. A Muslim is responsible to live a lifestyle upholding both obligations. I also read that you said your family is pretty traditional and that they would prefer you marry within the Asian gene pool...obviously you can not ask him to "become Asian" but he can turn around and ask you to become something you don't identify with. If you're cool making that transition, more power to ya. I make some seriously good Jewish holiday food. “Islam for Dummies” was open on his screen. You stop being Jewish? I'm not into perfunctory behavior to make things superficially ok. I believe there is something and I still have to find a religion that suits me. To Jennifer P.:It's not a dealbreaker, but it is something that he would like. I can tell you from personal (biased) experience that it is the only religion I could consider participating in actively. Good luck, Donna. In Reform Communities converting usually is not an issue. One day, as he joined my school friends during a “study party” while he was visiting me at school, I looked over at his iPad to see what he was doing in order to keep himself occupied. You can't really change who you are, not like that.As I said, all that is evaporating. I would advice you not to wait long on your conversion because only Allah knows when he will take our souls, becoming a muslim is very simple it's literally saying a sentence with truth in your heart. If your future in-laws and their family care so much about it, do not marry this man unless you are HAPPY to convert, will truly believe in it and do all the bull that goes along with that, and will send your kids to Hebrew school, etc. ;), mine just wears his to hide his bald head ;p, :P Who knew that that would be one of the added perks of a yamaka? I’ve had 8 sexual partners, I lie, drink, smoke. He never asked me to convert for the sake of the kids, though it would have pleased his family. Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what?=======================Isn't he an atheist? kathryn, you can have him girl!all men are idiots anyway. What were we talking about? Not too long ago an old friend -- let's name him Adam -- called me and dropped the hammer. What's the point of converting if you don't believe? Anyway, what I should have added is that it really depends on how deep you want to get into it. But as far as having the faith, I don't know. Anonymous. 2. Shouldn't one only convert to a belief because they are moved to do so by a belief, and not a person? The thing is i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, and I have sinned with him by having sex, the right thing to do would be to marry him eventually, and we love each other very much so would be more than willing to do that in the near future, but for now we're too young. I don't get why anyone would want someone else to "convert" in this way, just to get married. If what bothers you is the "converting" I'd suggest slowly look into it. Did I unconsciously appropriate? We celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. I also make the traditional food sometimes likes latkes, sufganiyot, and challah for shabbat. None of these things bother me. Stay aware of your surroundings people. And that doesn't even account for the millions spent to promote Islamophobia to deter people from studying Islam in the first place. :). Good luck! But, act and keep an open mind. 1 0. The Qur'an is not a terribly long book and if you don't have a copy, here's a free e-copy in English. My view is that if you love this man and religion is not an important part (or any part) of your life, what is the harm in becoming jewish if it is important to him? Nonetheless, one’s decision to convert can be made with greater confidence and ease if grounded in a sound understanding of the religion. She is Jewish because I am Jewish. Thanks for everyone's comments! Will you be prepared to observe veil (hijab)? ability to hold a dual American-Israeli passport), several distinct Jewish ethnicities, and clusters of shared cultural norms having to do with everything from politics and education to humor, music, work ethic, skepticism, scholarship, law, family, etc. Make sure it is the right decision for you first as you are making a promise the relationship apparently needs to work out. It also seems that maybe you do understand this. Let prayer be your vehicle's fuel in the journey to Him. Before embracing Islam, be sure to spend time studying the faith, reading books, and learning from other Muslims. Every Muslim has their duty towards God and their duty towards humanity. I do not have any personal experience with this. I say cherry pick what you like and do what makes you comfortable. Personal choice. He shouldn't expect her to convert just *for him*. How sincere is that faith if it was only adopted to please another, or to affect a change in the heart of another? When my parents considered marriage neither of them asked the other to convert, though it was agreed that the children would be raised Catholic. Part of HuffPost Religion. Converting to Judaism isn't necessarily easy, so you should really learn about the process first. And in fact, Judaism has been changing in the past hundred years. As an atheist I'd convert to save my life, or anyone elses for that matter, but I wouldn't just because someone wanted me to. Second, we are the world's single largest Muslim community united under one Imam, His Holiness the Khalifa of Islam Mirza Masroor Ahmad. If you wish to convert at a Masjid then my advice would be contact the Masjid. 4 minutes ago Tom "Some people call me the Space Cowboy" R. says:Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what?=======================Isn't he an atheist?--------------------Sort of...he's agnostic--hence the "wait...what? Today is National Voter Registration Day! My guy is not religious but he does enjoy Christmas. As for your situation? Did I unconsciously appropriate? There are few Tevyas left in the world (Tevya is the main character), and it shows how Tevya comes to accept that the old ways change. Have I prepared for the possible family and social backlash? Reform does not always follow Jewish law... Good luck, Donna. Author, Human Rights Lawyer, Visiting Fellow, Harvard University’s Prince Alwaleed bin Talal School of Islamic Studies, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Yes Hubert there are tons of interfaith marriages between a Jew and a non Jew......Please learn about Jewish law before making statements. So we want to take our time with getting to know everybody on both sides of our family. Shabbat shalom Amanda.....Have a good one. Now i think its all…. One day, as he joined my school friends during a “study party” while he was visiting me at school, I looked over at his iPad to see what he was doing in order to keep himself occupied. ©2020 Verizon Media. My advice is simple:  Don't convert, you will regret it. Whoopsie. The best 'weapon' to combat ignorance and intolerance of Islam is education -- so educate yourself as much as possible by studying the Qur'an, hadith, and classical Islamic scholars. However, to marry I'm assuming it's a different story. Indeed, Prophet Muhammad famously declared, "The cure for ignorance is to question," and "It is obligatory for every Muslim male and every Muslim female to attain education." Getty Lee is the Bassist/Vocalist for the band Rush. If you want images of Jews in their native habitat, you must rent Fiddler on the Roof, which beyond just entertainment and some great Broadway show tunes deals with all these issues in a pretty deep way. And I hope no one thinks that I would then have to disregard my ethnicity and culture. don't start your life together on a lie. Your decision to convert/revert to Islam should be based on knowledge, certainty, acceptance, submission, truthfulness, and sincerity. You must go to the mikvah (the ritual bath), you must have a sponsor of sorts. Tell them about Islamic duties and rules. My own grandfather spent 15 years studying before committing himself to Islam. Lol. We didn't even celebrate it this year! The duty towards God includes (but is not limited to) praying five times a day every day and on time, fasting during the month of Ramadan, and professing the declaration of faith that "There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger." There are definitely rabbis that will marry both of you even if you don't convert. I smiled. I guess my religious beliefs just mean too much to me. Islam teaches that ultimately our salvation rests in God's hands. Be ready for whatever comes -- good and bad. whoops, that should have said "ordaining gay Jews as rabbis are just a few of the changes that have occurred in Judaism in the last hundred years."i'm. Nicely said Jenn. I had that much faith in Islam. As such, the religion of Islam teachesthat in order to achieve true peace of mind and surety of heart, one mustsubmit to God and live according to His Divinely revealed Law.Islam is not a new religion because ‘submissionto the will of God’, i.e. Oy Vey! One of the meanings of Islam is sincerity. IF you are really doing Shabbat every Friday night, there is a little more going on than just the "cultural aspect". Much like researching different religions before accepting Islam, research what community of Muslims you would like to join. as someone who was fascinated by genetic engineering (what it was called at the time) this confused, interested, and humored me, greatly. I have received a promise ring and once all the stuff with the family gets smoothed out, we plan to get engaged. He would be fine if I decided that I did not convert. Tsada K. says:Personally, I think that it is hypocritical, not so much of the person converting, but of the family who asks that person to do so in the form of an ultimatum. BTW, a true kosher Jewish conversion is difficult and involves quite a bit of study. That is a good thing as Islam seeks educated, thoughtful, and contemplative decision-making. You didn't say if not being Jewish is a dealbreaker for him. I went through Catholic school, and they made me go to confirmation classes when I was 16 even though they are aren't very religious and knew that I was agnostic. I have been reading and looking into things, but I haven't had my moment of complete certainty yet. The converts in our family,all women, converted for relationship reasons at first and really got into being Jewish afterwards...I mean observing Shabbos , going kosher,observing all holidays (and there are quite a few), and making sure their children get a Jewish education. For the atheists in the crowd she didn't say she was Atheist - which would mean she doesn't believe in God or Gods and most likely doesn't participate in a religion; but that she's Agnostic - which means she's open and not sure as to if there is or isn't a God or Gods. Get your conversion on girl. He is happy to support me in raising our son Jewish, which I appreciate.It's easier for us, since my son is considered Jewish because it's passed down by the mom (me).If you have any interest / curiousity, I'd suggest taking a class or two about Judaism. You don't have to convert to Judaism to make great latkas any more than you need to convert to Buddhism to eat in a Chinese restaurant. Remove one and you end up in circles without accomplishing much. So far we've outlasted both our parent's marriages, as well as all of our sibling's marriages, and are still very much in love. If you're part of a reform synagogue, mom doesn't have to be jewish for the kids to be. If he's actually not religious, just culturally Jewish (I fall into the same category), why is it so important for him to have a Jewish wife? I chose to send her to private Jew School (yep, I said Jew School) and I chose to send her to Jewish day camps, sleep away camps and to Hebrew School. why is it that shikzah's love the jewboys and jewish girls could give a rats ass about jewboys? I'm Jewish because my mother is Jewish, but she married a Presbyterian whose only yarmulke is the skin one that has been rapidly expanding on the top of his head for the last forty years. Answer:Why should one convert to Islam? labels, labels. No point crying for what we're losing - we are in a new era. Without getting into tons of detail, the best thing I can say is this is YOUR life. I believe the religion is matrilineal so you would have to convert if you wanted your children to be Jewish. What is YOUR word of the year (2020j. Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me; About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend; I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know; My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back The Declaration of Faith (Shahada) To convert to Islam and become a Muslim, all you need to do is say the below testimony with conviction and understanding its meaning: "Ash Shadoo an La ilaha illa Allah, Wa Ash Shadoo ana Muhammadan rasoolu Allah." I belong to the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, which is unique for two reasons. Perhaps the rules need some changing, or your partner is willing to explore other options. It is very different from my upbringing, but many of the values are the same.At the moment, I can say I wouldn't mind celebrating the culture and the values. I don't go to services and I only do Shabbat here and there. The reason I am telling it now, is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my husband and it kind of caught me off guard. I finally had to tell him that I would feel so fake talking to all his friends and his pastor that I would probably feel sick. It might have been easier if I had, but it worked out well. You have conveyed that marriage is a long ways away and that should give you plenty of time to figure out what you want. Note that it's a lot harder to be "passable" when hiding your lady bits. Additionally some religions (mostly Asian or New Age'y one's) can be practised without a belief in or worship of God or Gods (…) and (…).Though I am Theistic and believe there is or at least was a God at some point, and fairly conservative - I also don't believe that you should lie or go against your own personal beliefs or disbeliefs as these would tend to hinder an honest, open, longterm relationship. He will be happy for you to convert! 1 minute ago Donna K. says: To Hubert: Really? And I am totally a shikzah Sara haha. I say go through with it, as long as it doesn't make you ill. should i … Anyone considering Islam should be ready to uphold both of these important commitments and to maintain balance between them. This is more difficult for some than others, but nonetheless is an important part of Islam's dietary guidance. Talk to your fiance, see how important it is to him, because conversion is a long process. “Islam for Dummies” was open on his screen. This conversation is older than 2 months and has been closed to new posts. You should embrace Islam together with your boyfriend. This being said-I am Jewish. We are getting married in the church so I had to got o the Catholic Wedding Preparation Course which after I took the class we are eligible to be married in the church. Yes I made it clear. I accept this for my fiance and signed it.